Why Talk When You Can Text?
by sherlockhastheTARDIS
Summary: John and Sherlock's relationship shown through their text messages. Much fluff and allusions to smut. Some language, but nothing too explicit.
1. Chapter 1

I hate my brother. - SH

You say that all the time. What did he do now? - JW

He bothered me. - SH

Shocker. - JW

Ha bloody ha, John. - SH

Have you ever noticed how many people out there think we're a couple? - SH

I.. What? - JW

Well, have you? - SH

Yeah, I have. You can't be on the internet and _not _notice. - JW

Do you think they're right? - SH

... - JW

That is, do you think it would work? - SH

Us... As a... Sherlock, is this a joke? - JW

No. I'm trying - and evidently failing - to ask you to be in a relationship with me. - SH

Jesus fucking Christ on a fancy fucking motorbike. - JW

Yes. - JW

God, yes. - JW

... Yes? To us? - SH

YES! - JW

You should come home now. - SH

I'm running. Damn the shopping. - JW


	2. Chapter 2

You left. - SH

I swear I was just talking to you. - SH

Did you get kidnapped again? - SH

John? - SH

John! - SH

Jesus fucking christ, Sherlock, I'm at work! I left two hours ago! - JW

... Oh. - SH

Sarah noticed my hickey. - JW

Is that a bad thing? - SH

On a personal level, no. On a professional level, just a bit. - JW

I'll leave it below the collar next time? - SH

Don't bother. - JW

Oh. Well, then... - SH

Oh, shut up, you. - JW

By the way, what are we now? - JW

I mean, I'm only asking because I'm getting weird looks and people are asking questions... - JW

I thought you were my boyfriend. - SH

I'd like that. - JW

I love you. - SH

Love you, too. I'll be home soon, try and eat something before I get there. - JW

Fine. - SH


	3. Chapter 3

So... That kiss at the Yard... - JW

What about it? - SH

It was pretty public, 'Lock. - JW

Your point being? - SH

I thought you didn't want to be out yet. - JW

I changed my mind. - SH

Oh. Well, why didn't you tell me? - JW

I did; yesterday before dinner. Don't you remember? - SH

No... Sherlock, I wasn't home for dinner. - JW

... Right. Sorry. - SH

You know it's adorable that you do that? Talk to me when I'm not there. - JW

Careful, you might break up with me in one of those conversations. - SH

Never. - JW

Promise? - SH

Swear on my life. I'm never leaving you, love. - JW

Thank god. - SH

You don't believe in god. - JW

I can still thank it. - SH

Fair point. - JW

Are you still upset about the kiss? - SH

I was never upset about it. - JW

Oh? Then why... - SH

Because I was confused. But, I guess it's fitting that our first kiss in public was over a dead body. - JW

I couldn't help it; you're sexy when you deduce. - SH

So are you. - JW

... Home. Now. - SH

Running. - JW


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: As promised, the continuation of the most recent chapter of A Day in the Life. You don't have to read that one first, but I do recommend it.**

* * *

I'm sorry. Come home, love. - SH

Took you long enough. - JW

I'm sorry. - SH

Are you really? - JW

Yes. - SH

Somehow I'm struggling to believe you. You said some pretty nasty things back there. - JW

I know and I'm sorry. Okay? I. Am. Sorry, John. - SH

... Okay. - JW

Okay? - SH

Okay. I'm on my way home. - JW

Are you running? - SH

No. Don't push your luck, you cheeky git. - JW

Fine. - SH


	5. Chapter 5

Your mother just called me. - JW

I'm sorry. Whatever it was she said, I'm so terribly sorry. - SH

Love, relax, it wasn't bad. It was.. sweet, actually. - JW

Oh? - SH

Yeah. She just.. She thanked me. - JW

For? - SH

Making you happier than she's seen you in a long while. - JW

... - SH

Well, I can't argue with that. - SH

You can't? - JW

No, I can't. Because you have, John, so very much. - SH

Fuck, Sherlock, I can't have Sarah walk in and see me crying. - JW

I've made you cry? Really? - SH

Shut up. - JW

I'm flattered, John. - SH

You're always flattered. - JW

Watch yourself, Watson. - SH

Or what? - JW

Use your imagination. - SH

... - SH

How long until you're off work? - SH

3 hours. - JW

Look who's punished, now. - JW


	6. Chapter 6

If I tell you something, will you promise not to be angry? - SH

... That's never a good way to start a conversation. - JW

Did you make a bomb again? - JW

I swear to god, you're going to give poor Mrs. Hudson a heart attack one day. - JW

No, no, of course not. She made me promise not to. - SH

I've umm... I've gotten us a dog. - SH

You... A dog? - JW

A dog. - SH

What kid of dog? - JW

The cutest bulldog puppy you've ever seen in your life. - SH

Who are you and what have you done with my boyfriend? - JW

... I'm sorry? - SH

Never once in all the years I've lived with him have I heard Sherlock Holmes call anything "cute". - JW

Oh. Well.. You have to see him, John, he's adorable. - SH

Where'd you get him? - JW

Lestrade found him in a box in an alley behind the Yard. - SH

Just.. Look at the picture I emailed you. - SH

Christ. - JW

He's adorable. - JW

I know. - SH

Can I name him? - JW

I haven't thought of any, so go for it. - SH

Toby. Gladstone crossed my mind, but I like Toby better. - JW

Toby's good. Toby's... Toby's perfect. - SH

Really? - JW

Really. I love it. - SH

Well, Toby it is. I'm on my way home; we can go out and get supplies. - JW

Sounds brilliant. - SH

Oh, and John? - SH

Hm? - JW

I love you. - SH

You mean the dog hasn't taken my place? - JW

Of course not. - SH

Good. I love you, too. - JW


	7. Chapter 7

I was your first, right? - JW

Yes. I said as much that night, didn't I? - SH

You did. But you still swear by that statement? - JW

I do. - SH

John, what's this about? - SH

I met someone today, claims to have been a friend of yours. - JW

That's ridiculous. Who? - SH

Bloke named Victor. - JW

... Oh. - SH

"Oh" would be correct. - JW

Explain, Sherlock. Now. - JW

Victor was a sort of.. arranged relationship. Once I was out to my parents, my Father - in what I can only assume was an effort on his part to save the Holmes name from any smearing - set me up with a "nice, respectable boy". In order to keep my parents out of my life, I pretended to date him for several months. Evidently, he thought it was real. But it was never anything in my mind, and never sexual. I swear, John. - SH

He thought he was the love of your life. Seemed surprised you'd found someone else. "Especially some little doctor fellow." - JW

John, no... Don't listen to him. - SH

I'll damn well listen to whomever I want to, Sherlock, thank you very much. - JW

I'm sorry. Isn't.. Isn't that what I was supposed to say? I'm trying to be comforting. - SH

Well, it's not working. - JW

Oh. - SH

You swear he means nothing to you? Nothing at all? - JW

Swear on my life. Swear on us. - SH

That's a big wager. - JW

I know. - SH

Fine. - JW

Better? - SH

I'll be better in a little while, probably. - JW

Anything I can do to help? - SH

You're offering? - JW

Of course. Anything you need. - SH

Well, I seem to be lacking in hickeys.. - JW

_Oh._ - SH

I can fix that. - SH


	8. Chapter 8

I'm going to kill you. - JW

I'm sorry, I thought you were coming home late, I promised I'll take the pig ears out from the bed. - SH

There are _pig ears_ in my bed?! - JW

... No. - SH

Well, never mind, because there's dog shit on the carpet. - JW

So send him outside for a walk, get the rest of it out. - SH

Sherlock, you promised to house train him. - JW

I'll get around to it. - SH

No. Get your ass home and start today. - JW

But John, I'm at the lab. Molly's got a new head in! - SH

If you don't watch yourself, your head's going into the morgue. - JW

Coming home. - SH

Thought so. - JW


End file.
